Me: Bikini or one-piece?
Boyfriend: ...Is that a rhetorical question?
Me: Er... no?
Boyfriend: Hm, do I like swimsuits with more or less fabric...
Anonymous asked: Think fast, what do you like right now?
Me: Did you take my last piece of gum?
Me: But your breath smells fruity.
Brother: There were two pieces left.
Me: Oh cool.
Brother: And I ate them both.
heronqueenblues: why would anyone use UPS the postal service is way cheaper and comes just as fast and I’ve never had a problem with it plus they make way better music
Brother: Hey, your phone rang.
Me: *goes to check* ...Because you called me.
Brother: Yeah. Wanna play GTA?
Me on Spring Break, after sleeping in and actually...
Anonymous asked: You should post stuff.
tumblrbot asked: ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?